This year's new year's eve has been unusual so far. We spent the entire morning until lunchtime at the church and cemetery, where my aunt's body was eternally laid down to rest. A few days ago, right after Christmas, our dear aunt, Auntie Norvelle, lost her battle against cancer. She had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a few months ago and her health deteriorated from then on. It was difficult seeing her struggling against her disease, getting weaker every time we saw her. She's the closest aunt I have, and she's the sibling my mom is closest to. They only live right across our house and we would normally spend special occasions (including new year's celebration) together. She's very kind-hearted, humble and selfless and it pains us to know that we won't be spending another new year's celebration with her while here on earth.
When I found out about Auntie's death, I was in the middle of a wedding shoot. Days before, I was hoping she won't pass on on that day. It was also the same day when her nurse and her maid took their day off. I felt bad that I wasn't able to assist my cousin and my uncle on the day of her death since I had work. While I was at the shoot, I wanted to burst into tears but I had to hold back. I found myself crying when I got home late at night that day.
I realized that no matter how much you've anticipated the death of a love one, nothing can prepare you for the time it finally comes. It's worse that Auntie Norvelle is very close to us. For the days that followed after her death, I kept on thinking if we've showed her enough how much we loved her. When she was strong enough to talk (and smile), she has thanked us many times for the love we showed her. I saw her get misty-eyed when we handed her a Christmas gift. But on her last days, we barely talked. Breathing was getting difficult for her. I feel bad for not praying for and with her when I visited her in the past, that during her last days, I wasn't able to text her as much bible verses and other encouraging words as I used to. While there's nothing anymore I can do about my relationship with Auntie, her passing has motivated me to maintain stronger relationships with the people she has left behind. I also realized that, in times like this, the only thing you can do is to hold on to God's promises. If you know God's character and have an intimate relationship with Him, you will be comforted that He has everything under control.
Before she died, I told Auntie that people are immortal until they've accomplished their mission on earth. Auntie Norvelle has proven to be a great mother, husband, friend, and the best aunt and sister (especially to my mom). Through her kindness, gentleness, and humility, I know her work is done. May she be eternally joyful in God's presence.
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