I've been such a busy bee lately that I didn't realize I haven't ran/biked/done any extreme physical activity in almost three months. (Except for the Barre3 classes I took. 'Found a good deal on Deal Grocer) I also haven't been posting much here (as originally planned :P). The past months have been kind to me though - I've had several trips, found myself a CCF Dgroup/discipleship group I can see myself growing in, I've had a lot of shoots (surprisingly), and I've been spending a lot of time with family and friends. BUT, due to my self-indulgence, lack of discipline and plain laziness (I'd also like to blame the erratic weather and my impacted tooth extraction), I stopped running. :( I was hoping to finish my first official 5k run sometime this month, but I don't think that's still possible.
I resolved to run today after work so I brought my gym bag with me. On my way home, however, I saw dark clouds looming over the northern area of the city. It wasn't long before it started pouring at Commonwealth ave. So I decided to go home instead. Besides, I needed to pack for the HK trip in a few hours.
Coincidentally, a former high school teacher posted a link to his running blog on Facebook, where quite recently, he wrote about getting back to running. Sir Cumagun was our Social Studies teacher when I was in first year high school in Miriam College. He was one of the best teachers we had. He was so patient with us (believe me, it was no joke dealing with adolescent girls) and he always found creative ways to present his lessons. He was also one of the friendliest teachers in and outside class. To stress the importance of history, in one class, he brought an old personal diary and read an entry aloud about how he went to the school dance with a girl he liked. Hehe. I remember seeing him around the campus with his wife, who was then working as a pre-school teacher also at Miriam. A month ago, I added him on FB. I later on realized his family migrated to the US and his wife had passed on. :( I scanned through his blog and was inspired by his motives for getting back on track (I hope he doesn't mind that I'm reposting it here):
My running has been sporadic, to say the least, since my wife passed away 4 months ago. I actually started running again with friends but then I just isolated myself and stopped running. I realized I use up my emotional reserves every time memories of my wife hit me hard. By then I had nothing to give to running.
But one memory inspired me to return to running for good. As I was going through her closet, I saw one letter she wrote to me on Father's Day in 2006 offering a 10k run for me. That 10k turned out to be her last run. The following month, her doctor told her that her cancer recurred and metastasized.
As tears flowed, I knew that I should go back to running. But it wasn't easy getting back up on my feet. My grieving was draining and exhausting me. I didn't realize that it could affect me physically. I had to dig deep for some kind of motivation to get me out there.
Today, with God's help and my wife's intercession, I was able to muster the courage to start again. It was one lazy afternoon and 93 degrees outside; and I was alone at home. It was the perfect day to stay indoors and watch TV. However, I got up from the couch and went to the bedroom to change to my running gear. Then I took a marker and wrote my wife's name on my pair of shoes.
I walked the the whole block until the corner; then like a plane after being a given an all clear from the control tower, I took off running. I chose a favorite 9-mile route on the suburban streets where I live. I knew this route and every crack on the sidewalk by heart; but I haven't returned to it in months. It felt good, reliving lots of fond memories, running this route then coming back home to my wife who was always waiting for me to return.
Every run is for you, my beloved wife! Long may I run!
Sir C. also wrote about how he dedicates his runs not only to his wife but to other sick people and loved ones, and how he prays while running. See, it's never just about running. There's always some underlying motivation that pushes you to run. In my case, more than a health measure, I see running as a way for me to build self-discipline, to encourage me to press on and accomplish my goals in life. In a way, it's a representation of my faithfulness and of how dedicated I am to my commitments (oops. heehee). I'm hoping that when running becomes a habit again, everything else in my life would follow suit.
Today, I'm going to HK with the parents (and I swear, this is the last time I'm going with them on a trip. I know I've said that several times before, but anyway.. hehe) But once I get back, I'll start running again, I promise. I'm sure I'll need to burn all the accumulated fat from eating tons of Chinese food. Hehe
PS: Thanks Sir C. for the inspiring post :)
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